These days, I take time to carefully cultivate my friendships and I try to be a good friend as best as I can. That was why she would have been my plus-one if I changed my mind and attended the wedding. I can’t deny that my friend was fun to be with. Traits of Congeniality include self-confidence the ability to see the humour in life and being fun to be around. My ex-friend was lacking in this regard too. These traits require personal insight, self-discipline, and unconditional positive regard for our friends. Traits of Caring include empathy the ability to withhold judgment effective listening skills and the ability to offer support in good times and bad. Trustworthiness is often the most important element in any inter-personal relationship and a breach, no matter how small, can ruin a relationship. Traits of Integrity are trustworthiness, honesty, loyalty and an ability to trust others. How do you know if you have good friends?Īccording to Psychology today, a good friend should have three main traits: Traits of Integrity traits of Caring and traits of Congeniality. That was all well and good, provided that you had a good friend and not one who would stab you in the proverbial back! The same article said that having friends kept us physically healthy, helped us live longer and made us less prone to depression and more financially successful. While it was cheering to know that I was not the only one who made the mistake of liking too soon, trusting too much, ignoring selfish traits and investing much more in a friendship than the other person I would rather be able to decipher my friendships than have fake friends. This meant that around half the people I considered my friends didn’t consider me theirs in return. Not long after the incident I read an article which claimed that over half of us couldn’t judge our friendships objectively. Our relationship cooled since the incident and now I only send her a text once a year at Christmas. Nevertheless, I was upset that she could be so selfish, self-centred and inconsiderate. Predictably, my hubby didn’t understand how we could fall out over a wedding invite and aso-ebi. Really? What part of ‘it is too expensive’ didn’t she understand? Why didn’t she tell me what she was planning to do before she paid for the aso-ebi? The truth was that she knew I wasn’t going to attend but because she wanted to appear in Ovation magazine (with her picture captioned ‘a guest’), she went behind my back. She claimed she thought I was going to buy the aso-ebi and attend so she didn’t think I would mind. I called my friend hours later and she babbled an apology. What did I do? I cancelled for both of us, told them I (I meant my friend) would call back to arrange how the money should be refunded. guess who? My friend’s name! To make matters worse, I was also told that I had also paid for one set of aso-ebi.
#WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE WHO NEEDS ENEMIES PLUS#
I called the RSVP number to decline the invitation only to be told that I had called to confirm my attendance a couple of weeks previously and that I had changed my plus one to…. You would think it included overnight hotel stay. I wasn’t sister of the groom, so how far? He offered to give me half the money if I really wanted to buy it but I turned down his offer and told him it wasn’t about the money but the principle behind buying family uniform for £350. Why pretend? I wasn’t that rich and it seemed like mindless spending to me.
![with friends like these who needs enemies with friends like these who needs enemies](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Jw1bWukAFD4/maxresdefault.jpg)
I thought nothing of it.Īs the deadline for responding to the RSVP approached I told my hubby I would not attend the wedding because I could not justify buying such expensive aso-ebi for someone’s wedding.
![with friends like these who needs enemies with friends like these who needs enemies](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51bW3WIJVcL._SY346_.jpg)
She agreed with me but insisted on taking a picture of the invitation on her phone to show other friends. I felt that once I did, I would keep buying such ostentatious outfits and that is against all my principles.
![with friends like these who needs enemies with friends like these who needs enemies](https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/c60d464b-1a5b-4e66-916b-63729cd4d7c0_1.6910065d37edf0a6ca993be4c53a0da3.jpeg)
I met up with my friend and told her that I had an invite to the wedding and explained that I had never spent so much on aso-ebi. Let’s just say it was enough to pay our monthly gas bill for at least three months. My excitement was dampened a couple of weeks later when the picture and price of the aso-ebi for the wedding was circulated. However, my hubby was quick to ask me to go with one of my friends as he wasn’t particularly fond of attending such events. Everyone we knew wanted an invitation to the wedding and I was quite pleased we got an invite. It was billed to be a high-brow event that Ovation magazine would cover (they did). My husband and I were invited to a society wedding at the Dorchester Hotel in London. Around three years ago an incident happened between me and someone I called a good friend.